(auto)Biography
Preface
I am a father, professional, husband, brother, son, friend, brother in-law, student, and teacher. I am a child, looking upward in awe. I am no one, yet I am everyone. I am gifted, yet I am dumb. My name is Stephen Gregory Holsinger and this is my life.
This is a work in progress. See below for a list of what is missing.
Gifted
I have known from an early age that I was given a gift. My gift is understanding. This gift exposes itself to me in many areas. The most prevalent perhaps is the field of technology. I am one of many programmers that have become so by curiosity. The idea is planted. A book or perhaps online tutorial later, and you have just about mastered the subject. My curiosity tends to hamper progress occasionally. I have a tendency to become so engrossed in a topic that I lose sight of my goals and / or responsibilities.
I have been diagnosed as having Bipolar disorder. I feel that this is an excuse. I went through a period of my life where I was extremely depressed. Depression often shows signs physically. My physical embodiment of the disorder was excessive exhaustion. I could sleep for twelve hours straight and wake up exhausted. I needed to get out more. I needed motivation. I needed friendship. Real friendship. I needed to wake up.
I do not take medication for my “disorder”. If I am overcome with a bout of depression, I think my way out of it. Or I just take the down time to reflect on things that are getting me down. Usually that clears it up. Often it can be overcome with a really good cry, a hug, and some sleep. The opposite side of Bipolar disorder is mania. Wikipedia defines mania as “extremely elevated mood, energy, and unusual thought patterns.” Mania is a tool that I have been gifted with that allows me to catch up on work and be more creative than I would normally be.
Learning
I attended Lehigh Valley College (formerly Allentown Business School) beginning October 2004 through March of 2006. My field of study was originally called “Web Management.” It was a set of courses that were designed to blend disciplines in business, accounting, marketing, programming, and design. The program was to culminate with the receiving of a certificate of completion. I was informed from the beginning that in the middle of my term the program would transform into an Associates of Science degree when the school achieved “College” status. Others were not informed of this plan, and are bitter to this day.
I began my term at LVC assuming that I already knew everything I needed to know about web development. In my mind I was attending this college for the sole purpose of receiving that piece of paper. At first I was easily leading the classes in answered questions. I achieved this by answering questions between games of Halo on my IBM Thinkpad. Many of my colleagues thought of me as a recluse because I spent most of class with my face buried in my laptop’s LCD monitor. Many of my teachers thought my behavior unprofessional. It was.
Eventually I actually had to start reading the books and doing a slightly higher level of work to achieve passing grades. I still excelled above and beyond my peers in my understanding of the subject matter. This also spawned my first taste of teaching. Many of my colleagues did not have any programming experience prior to these classes. Most knew that there was money in computers and they wanted to capitalize on it. Frequently I’d find myself ahead of schedule with classwork. This allowed me to either goof around or help my classmates gain a better understanding of the coursework.
Steverday
A handful of my classmates decided to get together for a study group as there was a sizable exam forthcoming. They were sitting outside in the “courtyard” discussing their plans when I walked outside to fulfill my pseudo-addiction. I smoked cigarettes because my hands required something to do whilst my mind looped infinitely in millions of directions. I have a nasty habit of biting my nails when I am not actively smoking cigarettes. Due to the fact that I have asthma; I can’t keep at it for long before my health suffers.</tangent>
It was during this conversation that I began to find my social side. Someone suggested that I be included in the study group. My experience lends itself as a valuable asset. Unfortunately I did not feel that I was in need of studying. This was not something I had ever “learned” to do. Throughout my earlier educational endeavors I would just read or hear the chapters read in class, and would need not hear or see of it again. This is just how I operated throughout middle and high school. My parents once thought that it would be a good idea to require me to practice before tests with flash cards. It is my belief that I actually performed worse as a result. I think it may have something to do with context. When you throw a bunch of facts, words, and figures at me - without substance or context - I get them mixed up.
Getting back to the “study group” I offered to have it at my apartment because it was the most central location for all parties involved. Additionally, when the studying was completed we could have some fun. The day came, and no studying happened. For some reason or another we ended up just setting up the Xbox, playing Halo, and drinking excessive amounts of alcohol. It was a party. Jerry - the group’s de facto leader - studied in a corner until he was satisfied that he had garnered enough knowledge to achieve success with the upcoming exam. He later showed everyone up by downing near half a bottle of Wild Turkey - Rare Breed (100 proof) bourbon whiskey. Mark - the group’s “nonconformist” - went shot for shot with Jerry thereby consuming an equal amount.
Alison - the group’s neurotic girl - had brought the Xbox. She played a few rounds before dropping out due to what I felt was frustration by having her ass handed to her in Halo. A game which none of the other attendees, save Jerry actually owned. She won’t admit to such allegations, but thats my opinion.
We held several more of these parties which became affectionately known as “Steverday.” We went so far as to include up to three Xboxes and up to 10 players in our Steverday Halo tournaments. I am quite skilled at Halo I and II on the Xbox and Xbox 360 as a result. Were I to play it on a PC I think I may have much difficulty. Halo was designed for the Xbox. It just works.
Nerdery
Steverday gave way to something far more nerdy than Halo tournaments. Eventually Alison didn’t want to drive thirty minutes from her home in Hellertown, PA to Allentown. She also began dating Mark, and they pretty much stayed to themselves after that. Jerry brought over the Star Wars Trilogy one time. We watched all three straight through. Eventually Steverday also included dinner. We ate and enjoyed Mr. Lucas’s tale of adventure set in a galaxy far far away.
All those in attendance of this specific Steverday had a profound enjoyment of Star Wars. Jerry had been a dungeon master for some time. Since high school years, in fact. When one views Jerry’s yearbook picture this isn’t hard to imagine. Keep this in mind when you read the next sentence. Jerry informs the group that there is a table top role playing game based in the Star Wars Expanded Universe using the Dungeons and Dragons style of play.
There are no interactive games where one can be a Jedi. LucasArts is currently working on a game entitled “Star Wars: The Force Unleashed” (Spring 2008) which should deliver the most interactive and realistic “Force User” experience. It looks absolutely amazing. I say realistic because the movies and books have established what one can and cannot do with the force. Therefore there is a certain feeling of what is “real.” Having said that, there are few fans of Star Wars that would not absolutely love to be able to experience that.
The Star Wars RPG allows players to fulfill this dream in a fictional story-line with fictional characters. Granted this sort of game requires a lot more brain power than a video game and is therefore superior in player experience. The previous statement assumes that the player’s imagination is well developed.
For about a year we all got together usually once a week to play. Usually we started the night off with dinner. Sometimes people would bring things. When it was held at my apartment Tom - the creepy uncle of the group - would come over and help me make food. Often stopping at Aldi on the way to my apartment for last minute additions to the meal. Alternatively when it was held at Jerry’s home he would usually have concocted some huge meal with lots of meaty goodness. Jerry’s family buys foodstuffs in bulk.
I moved back to my parents house after completing my Associates program. During this time I did not attend “Star Wars” as it is frequently called. My parents live about three hours away from the Allentown “metro” in Hanover, PA. About a month after moving back home I landed my first real job in Wilkes-Barre, PA. Wilkes-Barre is about eighty miles from the Allentown area. Eventually my job and the distance caused me to start missing way too much of the story.
Goal!
I have long had one major goal. That goal was to land a job doing what I love. What I love is web development. I love design. I love programming. I love learning something new every day. I expected that if I had a job doing what I liked I would be truly happy. My list of expectations not met is quite long. This happens to be at the top. It all started about two months after college.
I spent two weeks prior to college ending and roughly a month and a half after searching for a job that I thought I would be interested in. I was focusing my search in the Allentown and York metros. York being the area near my parents’ home. I even extended it into the northern Philadelphia suburbs. I even interviewed for a job with M&M Mars to work on the My M&Ms project in Hackettsown, New Jersey. The interview was arranged by a recruiting outfit. I told them I wasn’t interested. I did not want to live in New Jersey. Oddly enough my older sister is now working for Mars as a Logistics Coordinator.
The night before my interview with Mars I had been chatting with a colleague from college named Keith. He had been a semester ahead of us in the same program. I commented on my interview with Mars the next day. Mentioning my thoughts on living in Jersey let alone my lack of interest in the idea of commuting. He told me that the company he was working for was looking for a PHP developer. I checked out their job listings and sure enough the job was there. Additionally they had another position open for a Web Developer.
After the interview in Jersey I visited my girlfriend Candice - the sultry intelligent driven mother of the group - in Allentown. She was still attending LVC due to a scheduling mix up a few semesters prior. She was interning in the IT department doing level one and two tech support. She didn’t have a ride home that day, so I picked her up and drove north to her Jim Thorpe apartment. I was going to stay there that night and go to my interview in Wilkes-Barre the next day.
Regarding the two job openings at Keith’s company; Both positions sported paragraphs like, “Do you stay up at night picking apart some of the most advanced web applications out there? Do you tirelessly code in your spare time, because it’s what you love to do?” Upon reading this I answered, “Yes” in my head. The next paragraph was similar, “Do you want to work at a place where your special talents will be recognized - where you will actually have impact - where you can work beside others who are just as passionate - where you can help develop and pioneer the coolest, most advanced new interfaces on the web?” - “Yes, I do!” I thought instantly. I started getting giddy.
Under the heading, “Benefits” it read: “This is a full-time (40 – 50 hrs/week), Monday through Friday position (some weekends may be required as needed).” I put no extra thought into the part about “40-50 hrs/week” and “some weekends [...] as needed” because I was in love with the first two paragraphs. I was a fool. I met the requirements for the job so I applied for the PHP Developer position by e-mailing my resume, some links and sample code as attachments.
Four hours after I left their offices, I received a call from Cathy. Cathy was the company’s Human Resources director slash Office Manager slash Company Mother Figure. I say mother figure because it seemed as though she was the mother of the President and CEO. Cathy said that she had good news for me. She told me that she wanted to offer me a job for the Web Developer position. I looked at Candice - who was driving the car back to Jim Thorpe - and smiled wide. I asked her to pull over. The road we were driving on did not get cellular reception and I needed to take this call.
I accepted the position on the spot. Without so much as a second thought. I was so excited that I was going to have the opportunity to learn and grow as a professional. I was naive.
– to be continued –
Family
I am married to Candice Elizabeth Roomberg. I love her very much. We met in college. I made her laugh throughout class and we got some flak from instructors over it on many occasions. She insists that she came on to me. Yet I feel somehow that I initiated our relationship. Though that is always a woman’s prerogative, isn’t it? To coax a man into thinking that he caused something to happen, when all along it was the woman pulling the strings behind the curtain.
I am a step-father to Candice’s daughter Sensai Sayde Lazur. Her father George died in October of 2006. I wasn’t as strong for her during that period as I would like to have been. I still remember the call I received from her mother after I had gotten home from work that day. I drove the 46.5 miles from Kingston, PA to Jim Thorpe, PA without so much as uttering a word about it to my future wife. That was one of the hardest moments of my life.
– also to be continued –
You forgot …
- the early years
- your biological family
- high school and not-so high school
- your eight month stay in Texas (Heartlight)
- The birth of your daughter, Lily.